Tuesday, September 22, 2015

What am I running from?

What am I running from? Why  do I have such wanderlust? Why cant I stay in one place and not get antsy? I thought about my child hood. Ever since my parents divorced when I was 7 my mother rented numerous homes. We even lived on a commune when I was 12. We never had roots.  So, you would think I would want to plant roots as soon as I could when I was old enough to take care of myself.  I am now 56.  This is my first home I have owned.  It is perfect for me, I love it. It has everything I could want. So why the RV?  I am on vacation this week, I have been reading books about people that have hiked the Appalachian Trail, the PCT and moved into the woods. I am fascinated with the outdoors and people that thrive out there. I myself never plan to hike for 4 months in the wilderness. I do like to do day hikes and am an amateur nature photographer.  I want the RV to be able to get close to nature but be able to run back to a room with a kitchen and bathroom and lock out the bears and mountain lions. While on vacation I am also watering my dear friend Katherine's garden and porch plants.  I was there today and I just love this garden. While there the Orioles were yelling at me. As I watered I was envious of how beautiful every little bit of it was. I have known Katherine for years and have watched her nurture this beautiful space. 

That’s what it is. Nurture. I don’t have the nurture gene. My attempt at a vegetable garden was abysmal this year. I just am not a gardener I told myself. Easier to buy my veggies at Wegmans.  I do a very good job of taking care of my birds. I have a wide assortment of birds at my feeders. If I nurture a garden then I will be tied to my yard and watering all summer. I still plan on an RV. I just need to know my limits. Maybe travel south in the winter? I also don't plan to be a full timer. I love my home base. Travel only short stints in the winter? Who will feed my birds when I am gone. So many things to think about. To decide.

In all of this, I did have one take-away. Enjoy everything Just as it is.  I'm so busy researching RVs and planning, planning. I need to enjoy today just as it is. To watch the birds from my porch. To relax, have a cup of tea and just be.